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Jokes

Husbands Cannot Win

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife: “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the […]

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Wife’s Favorite Flower

Jason and Sarah’s marriage has been on the rocks for a while, so when they hear about a marriage seminar being given in their neighborhood they decide to attend. “One of the most important things in marriage,” said the speaker, “is to get to really know your spouse well.” “For example,” continued the speaker, “How […]

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Husband’s Last Request

Father O’Grady was saying his goodbye’s to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Cagney came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Father O’Grady. “Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news.” Replied Mary. “Well what is it, Mary?” “Well, my husband, passed away last night, […]

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Would You Still Love Me?

Frank came into his wife’s room one day. “If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me?” he asked her. “Darling, I’ll always love you,” she said calmly, filing her nails. “How about if I became crippled and couldn’t make love to you any more?” he asked nervously. “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll always love […]

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Wife Asks For Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t […]

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Farmer Feels Frisky

Young farmer Jones made an appointment with the family doctor regarding sexual problems he was having with his wife. “Now listen, Matt,” the doctor advised, “you have to be more loving to your wife. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Show her how much you care.” “Well, I’ll do the best I can,” he […]