An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the bar, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya all have?” he asked her. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied. The husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one […]
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going […]
Belated anniversary present on the driveway that goes from zero to two hundred in under six seconds. What to get your as a last-minute anniversary gift.
A man asks the barber in a shop, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around, seeing a lot of customers, said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left but didn’t return that day. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before […]
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now […]
While a husband and wife are driving on the way to a party, she’s admiring herself in the mirror. He asks, “What are you thinking?” She answers, “I went to the doctor yesterday and he told me that I have the face and breasts of a 25-year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he […]