Tag: marriage
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Wife Pulls Plug On Husband
Last night I was sitting in the living room watching the news on television. After seeing a guy living on a life-support system, I said to her: “I would never want to live in such a vegetative state, depending on some machine with fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens to me, just pull…
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I laughed at this joke about a husband’s healing powers in bed
This elderly couple watches a show on a television preacher’s healing powers one night while at home. The preacher faces the camera, and demonstrates his healing power by saying to his audience in a forceful and convincing manner, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program.” “Place one hand…
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Fur Coat For Mom
A mother and her daughter were strolling through a shopping mall, when the mother spotted an expensive fur coat. “This year,” she says, “I think that I will buy my own present instead of making your dad shop for me.” “But mom,” says the daughter, “some poor, helpless creature has to suffer so that you…
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Do Mothers-In-Law Deserve Disrespect?
Somebody rang my doorbell this morning. When I opened the door there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said, “Can I stay here for a few days?” I said: “Sure you can,” and shut the door in her face. What the husband tells his wife Husband: “Hey, you won’t believe what happened this…
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Death By Gonorrhea Or Diarrhea?
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.” She said, “I nursed him…
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Memorable Dear Abby Q&A
Dear Abby replies with her usual wit and wisdom.