married_couple in 30s walking

18 Funny Marriage Quotes

Do marriages survive in good and bad times? This collection of quotes shows both experiences test the bonds of friendship, often to the limits.

  1. Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  2. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But after a while, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
  3. Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. – Gary Busey
  4. Marriage is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, and sometimes you just want to throw up.
  5. Marriage is like a fine wine. If tended properly, it gets better with age. If not, it turns into vinegar.
  6. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
  7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  8. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. – Ann Bancroft
  9. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin
  10. Marriage is the only battle where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  11. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield
  12. Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one. – Mae West
  13. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
  14. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
  15. Marriage is like a game of chess. One false move, and you’re mated. – Irving Chernev
  16. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell
  17. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henry Youngman
  18. Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park
married couple spending time together on gorgeous spring afternoon

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