Tag: medical

  • Colonoscopy Exams

    A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopy exams: “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” “Find Amelia Earhart yet?” “Can you hear me NOW?” “Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!” “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there…

  • Evils of Marjuana

    A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors. “Used regularly,” he explained, “Pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student.…

  • What Is Price Of A Brain?

    In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I have some terrible, terrible news,” he said as he looked over the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is…

  • Insurance Jokes

    “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing,” the girl replied. “He made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.” An insurance agent went to a museum and he accidentally hit a statue. Museum administrator: “That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken!” Insurance agent: “Thank God! I thought it was a…

  • May I Take Your Order?

    An friend of mine, who is a physician, told her story about her four-year-old daughter’s McDonalds experience. On the way to preschool, she left her stethoscope on the car seat when her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. At first my friend was excited that her daughter wanted to follow in…

  • Definition of Cheap HMO

    Ten Signs of a Cheap HMO Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is…