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Ten Signs of a Cheap HMO
- Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
- Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
- The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
- The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
- The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is “An apple a day.”
- Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
- “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges” is not a typo.
- The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
- Your Prozac didn’t come in different colors with little “M”s on them.
- Top sign for Cheap HMO is: You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.