Definition of Cheap HMO

Ten Signs of a Cheap HMO

1. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
2. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
4. The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
5. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is “An apple a day.”
6. Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
7. “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges” is not a typo.
8. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
9. Your Prozac didn’t come in different colors with little “M”s on them.
10. Top sign for Cheap HMO is: You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.