Tag: medical
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Three Medical Professionals At Gates Of Heaven
St. Peter greets three medical professionals at the gates of heaven. He asks each of them why deserve spending the rest of eternity in heaven. St. Peter said to the first, “And what have you done to be able to enter heaven?” “I’m a surgeon who saved countless lives.” “Enter, you’ve done a wonderful job.”…
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Colonoscopy Exams
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopy exams: “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” “Find Amelia Earhart yet?” “Can you hear me NOW?” “Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!” “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there…
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Evils of Marjuana
A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors. “Used regularly,” he explained, “Pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student.…
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Insurance Jokes
“Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing,” the girl replied. “He made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.” An insurance agent went to a museum and he accidentally hit a statue. Museum administrator: “That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken!” Insurance agent: “Thank God! I thought it was a…
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May I Take Your Order?
An friend of mine, who is a physician, told her story about her four-year-old daughter’s McDonalds experience. On the way to preschool, she left her stethoscope on the car seat when her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. At first my friend was excited that her daughter wanted to follow in…
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Definition of Cheap HMO
Ten Signs of a Cheap HMO Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is…