old lady reading newspaper

Death By Gonorrhea Or Diarrhea?

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.

No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly,

“You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.”

She said, “I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big poop he always was.”

Alternative version

Ladies and gentlemen gather ’round for a tale of love, humor, and a woman’s determination to leave a lasting legacy for her dear departed husband. Trust me, folks, this one’s a real plot twist!

So, picture this – the husband finally takes his final bow, and his loving wife, in the spirit of tradition, puts out the usual death notice in the paper. But wait, she’s got a surprise up her sleeve – she adds that he died of gonorrhea!

Now, I know what you’re thinking – ‘That’s not the kind of headline you want for your eternal remembrance!’ But just when you thought things couldn’t get weirder, enter the good friend of the family!

This friend calls up the wife and complains, ‘You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.’ Oh, the plot thickens, my friends!

And here comes the wife’s response – ‘I nursed him night and day, so of course I know he died of diarrhea. But hey, why not give posterity something to remember? A great lover, not just a big poop!’ Now that’s what I call a legacy makeover!

You know, folks, I can just picture this woman sitting there, thinking, ‘Hmm, do I want my husband remembered for the not-so-glorious details of his departure or as a Casanova in the afterlife?’

I mean, talk about rewriting history! It’s like she’s putting on a Hollywood production to immortalize her husband’s memory. ‘Gonorrhea: The Tragic Love Story of a Great Lover’ – coming soon to a theater near you!

But hey, you gotta hand it to the woman – she’s got a sense of humor even in the face of loss. And you know what? Maybe her husband would’ve appreciated the humor too!

So, here’s to our dear departed husband – remembered not as a ‘big poop’ but as a legend of love in the eyes of posterity! And to his wife, the mastermind behind the great legacy makeover!

Thank you, thank you! You’ve been an incredible audience tonight. Remember, folks, it’s not just how you live, but how you’re remembered – whether you’re known for your greatness or your, well, poopy moments!

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