- Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
- The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ – the pig was ‘committed’.
- While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
- Never mistake motion for action.
- Hell is paved with good Samaritans.
- Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- True friendship comes when silence between two friends is comfortable.
- In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins, not through strength but by perseverance.
- rape should not happen, woman run faster with skirt up, than man with pants down.
- If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
- Well done is better than well said.
- The average person thinks he isn’t.
- One day I discovered that my landlord had placed a hidden camera in my bathroom ceiling. What a fool! That’s not where I keep my money!!
- CONFUCIUS SAY; “Virginity like bubble. One prick-all gone!”
- People who say that violence doesn’t solve anything have obviously never witnessed a “Most Violent Guy in the Bar” contest.
- If God wants to be really funny, He won’t end the world on January 1st, 2000. Instead, He’ll wait a few days until everybody thinks things are all okay, and then WHAM!! — apocalypse on January 8th!
- In my opinion, a person’s never fully dressed without clothes.
- I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
- I think the best way to insult an illiterate bully is to write him a nasty letter.
- I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- If a man does his best, what else is there?
- Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.
- Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
- Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
- The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
- I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forget their use.
- C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
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