150 Shuffled Thoughts

1. Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
2. The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ – the pig was ‘committed’.
3. While we are postponing, life speeds by.
4. Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
5. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
6. Never mistake motion for action.
7. Hell is paved with good Samaritans.
8. Silence is argument carried out by other means.
9. True friendship comes when silence between two friends is comfortable.
10. In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins, not through strength but by perseverance.
11. rape should not happen, woman run faster with skirt up, than man with pants down.
12. If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
13. Well done is better than well said.
14. The average person thinks he isn’t.
15. One day I discovered that my landlord had placed a hidden camera in my bathroom ceiling. What a fool! That’s not where I keep my money!!
16. CONFUCIUS SAY; “Virginity like bubble. One prick-all gone!”
17. People who say that violence doesn’t solve anything have obviously never witnessed a “Most Violent Guy in the Bar” contest.
18. If God wants to be really funny, He won’t end the world on January 1st, 2000. Instead, He’ll wait a few days until everybody thinks things are all okay, and then WHAM!! — apocalypse on January 8th!
19. In my opinion, a person’s never fully dressed without clothes.
20. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
21. I think the best way to insult an illiterate bully is to write him a nasty letter.
22. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
23. If a man does his best, what else is there?
24. Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.
25. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
26. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
27. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
28. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forget their use.
29. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg
30. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

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