Something to think about while social distancing.
A list long enough to share with your friends.
- Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.
- Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
- I wish I were telepathic. Not just to read people’s minds, which would be cool, but to cut down on my cellular phone bill.
- The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, humanity is doomed.
- I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- My ignorance is encyclopedic
- Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
- The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
- So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!
- Trying to attain vast power and world domination again?! Bad dog! Bad dog!
- I must be a proctologist because I work with assholes!
- I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
- There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Secret of a long and happy life : Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.
- We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Sometimes when I’m home alone, thinking of that special person who is sitting at home at the same time, just waiting to meet me, I think to myself, “What a loser this chick must be to sit at home by herself and think of some guy she’s never met”.
- Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
- The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Egoist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- They say it’s never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- The mistakes are all waiting to be made.