150 Shuffled Thoughts

1. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
2. We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction.
3. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
4. Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who’s totally free for the weekend!
5. Intelligence has much less practical application than you’d think.
6. If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
7. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
8. Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
9. If your mind isn’t open, keep your mouth shut too.
10. You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
11. If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
12. A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
13. Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don’t want to get any on you.
14. Each individual will be called to account in the hereafter for every pleasure he declined without sufficient cause.
15. Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.
16. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
17. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough ?
18. This isn’t right, this isn’t even wrong.
19. It takes a real man to admit he’s wrong. But it takes a truly special guy to admit he just soiled his undies.
20. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
21. Good habits are just as hard to break as bad ones.
22. Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
23. The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
24. I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality …but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse.
25. Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
26. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
27. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
28. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
29. Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. (chess)
30. I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

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