bride and groom oil painting

8 Funny Marriage Vows

My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.

He told me that he knew as early as their wedding day what marriage to my mom would be like.

The minister asked my mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband?”

She said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,”

My mom said, “He does.”

Funny Marriage Vows

Marriage vows don’t have to be boring. has 100 Funny Vows. Below are 7 of them to chuckle over to keep a sane perspective on life.

I vow to set all our bills to autopayment, so we have one less thing to argue about.

I vow to bundle up in a hat and coat indoors because you’re sweating and not willing to crank the thermostat.

I vow to change my status on every social media account to “married” shortly before the appetizers are served.

I vow to wrap up this portion of the ceremony quickly because I can’t wait to get at that prime rib.

I vow to cry with you when my mother insists on wintering with us.

I promise to keep your vintage comic books on display for as long as…OK, sorry. No. I can’t do it. Those are going in storage.

I vow not to turn into my mother. For at least the first decade.

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