Category: One-Liners
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Ten funny one-liners about weddings and marriage
Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? A: Not if you are the groom. Q: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony? A: Anything except ‘Tied to the Whipping Post’. Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They’re the ones dancing with everyone…
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Pregnancy Questions Answered
Answers To 10 Common Pregnancy Questions Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? A:Childbirth. Q: My…
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Dear God Prayers From Kids at Bedtime
35 of the best Dear God prayers kids make before they go to bed. Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Ginny Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look…
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Bumper Sticker Wisdom
And now reality as defined by BUMPER STICKER WISDOM According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist. Caution – Driver Legally Blonde! Few women admit their age; few men act it. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up…
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Rodney Dangerfield Classics
Once when I was a kid, I got lost. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can hide.” I went to see my doctor, “Doctor, every…
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Fictional Computer Viruses
Should you receive a document with any of the following viruses, you must immediately open the window and throw your computer out. I repeat, do not ever again use your computer should it be infected with any of these horrible viruses. Tonya Harding Virus Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus Warns…