Categories
One-Liners

Dear God Prayers From Kids at Bedtime

Dear God
35 of the best Dear God prayers kids make before they go to bed.

Dear God,

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Ginny

Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce

I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton – because I hate her.
Denise

It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend (I am not going to tell you who I am).

I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Alison

How did you know you were God?
Charlene

Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Anita

I bet it’s very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan

Did you really mean Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You, because if you did then I’m going to fix my brother.
Darla

I like the story about Chanuka the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones.
Glenn

My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

Who draws the lines around the countries?
Nan

It’s o.k. that you made different religions but don’t you get mixed up sometimes?
Arnold

Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

In Bible times did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you had everything.
Jane

How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don’t do any now?
Seymour

Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.
Peter

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
Larry

I keep waiting for spring but it never did come yet. Don’t forget.
Mark

You don’t have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
Dean

My brother told me about being born but it doesn’t sound right.
Marsha

If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Mickey D.

Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through business?
Donny

In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on Vacation?
Jane

We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School they said you did it. So I bet he stole your Idea.
Donna

I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know but I am not just saying that because you are God.
Charles

It is great the way you always get the Stars in the right places.
Jeff

I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was Cool.
Eugene

I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
Sam

My mom tells me that you have a reason for everything on Earth. I guess broccoli is one of your mysteries.
Susan

Can you get me a Smartphone? Santa must have forgot.
Kyle

I hope my dog is with you in Heaven, please take care of him. Sorry if he chews on your sandals.
Tommy

I promise to never say those words again, at least until my next shots.
Josh