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One-Liners

Ten funny one-liners about weddings and marriage

Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding?
A: Not if you are the groom.

Q: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony?
A: Anything except ‘Tied to the Whipping Post’.

Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
A: They’re the ones dancing with everyone but their wives.

Q: What is a wedding tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.

Q: Have you heard about the couple who got married in a nudist colony?
A: They wanted everyone to be sure who the best man was.

Q: What’s long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night?
A: A last name.

Q: How is marriage like a hot bath?
A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Q: If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose:
A: Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.

Q: What is the best way to annoy your wife/husband during sex?
A: Call her/him on the telephone.