Category: One-Liners
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Funny Definitions
Very funny alternative definitions of words These funny definitions are better than the ones found in your standard dictionary. Use them also to amuse your friends and family with your quick wit and original thinking. AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman, who has gone through labor, to want more children. DUMBWAITER: One who asks if…
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Henny Youngman
23 one-line jokes by Henny Youngman I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. My horse’s jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says “Why are you hitting me, there is…
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27 Jokes For Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day Jokesfor moms with a sense of humor 9 Things a mother would never say: “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.” “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” “Let me smell that…
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Classic one-line Jewish jokes
5759 Year according to Jewish calendar 4696 Year according to Chinese calendar 1063 Total number of years that Jews went without Chinese food. Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. Q – What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? A –…
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Economy is so bad that…
Ten funny thoughts about the pandemic economy My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 28 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. A…
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Political One-Liners
Funny quips about politicians from famous people. If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop~ If we got one-tenth of what was…