Category: One-Liners

  • The Economy is so bad that…

    Ten funny thoughts about the pandemic economy My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 28 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. A […]

  • Political One-Liners

    Funny quips about politicians from famous people. If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop~ If we got one-tenth of what was […]

  • One-Line Blonde Jokes

    What do you call an eternity? Four blondes at a four way stop. Why do blondes have “TGIF” written on their shoes? Toes Go In First. Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for 4 hours they finally saw a sign that said “Disneyland left,” so they turned around and went […]

  • Top 10 funny golf caddy one-liners

    Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.” Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?” Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.” Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?” Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss […]

  • Thoughts For Today

    Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then crap on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, […]

  • Bumper Stickers About Health and Fitness

    Health and Fitness The Bumper Sticker Method If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy. So many cats, so few recipes. Save the trees: wipe your butt with an owl. EARTH FIRST! We’ll strip-mine the other planets later. I don’t have a beer gut: I have a protective covering for my rock […]