Category: One-Liners
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Top 10 funny golf caddy one-liners
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.” Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?” Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.” Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?” Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss…
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Bumper Stickers About Health and Fitness
Health and Fitness The Bumper Sticker Method If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy. So many cats, so few recipes. Save the trees: wipe your butt with an owl. EARTH FIRST! We’ll strip-mine the other planets later. I don’t have a beer gut: I have a protective covering for my rock…
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Bumper Stickers About Computers
An Apple a day keeps Windows away. Double your drive space. Delete Windows. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. The box said Windows 10…
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Bumper Stickers About Driving
Driving Lessons The Bumper Sticker Guide Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal. If you believe in telepathy, think about honking. If you can read this, I’ve lost the trailer! Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph. Follow that car, Godzilla – and step on it! Don’t bother honking or…
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Bumper Stickers About People
The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you…
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Bumper Stickers About Science
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance. If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it. Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm). Does anal retentive have a hyphen? Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. Gravity: It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law. Alcohol and…