Category: Lists
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44 Things not to say on a first date
“Sorry I’m a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore.” “Show me how you used to spank her.” “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” “I just got my license today.” “I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature.” “Five…
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T-shirts for women making a statement
Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies. Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. I hate everybody, and you’re next. And your point is… I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to…
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25 Explanations of what doctors really mean
“This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…” Since he hasn’t the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give…
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Early exit at the family Thanksgiving dinner
20 funny excuses for an early exit from the dreaded boring Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Remind your 12-year old brother or sister that you left those condoms they asked for in the closet upstairs. Announce that you would like to start a new family tradition, and proceed to take off your clothes at the…
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What is the thinnest book in the world?
What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women. How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch. How can you tell if a man is sexually…
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity
20 WaYs To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing their, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, “You’ve got to be faster than that.” Every time someone asks you to do…