44 Things not to say on a first date
- “Sorry I’m a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore.”
- “Show me how you used to spank her.”
- “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?”
- “I just got my license today.”
- “I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature.”
- “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.”
- “Hey do you have an empty pop can and some matches?”
- “Hi. I’m Robert, but my friends call me ‘Back Door Bob.”
- “So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?”
- “Ok, you gotta be quiet or my roommate will hear. He doesn’t know I’m cheating on him!”
- “Thanks for having sex with me. I’ve really been down since I found out my girlfriend gave me Hepatitis.”
- “I would never hit a girl, I hear it ruins the fun to do that before you’re married”
- “I guess I can be kind of a jerk sometimes.”
- “You’re not the type of person I usually go for.”
- “Do you want to go to a strip club?”
- “So, are you smart?”
- “Do you mind if my friend stops by?”
- “I’m thinking of moving. I just can’t sit still.”
- “So, you just don’t have any hobbies?”
- “How’s [the online dating website you met on] going for you?”
- “So was I an accidental right swipe?”
- “So, are you bi? ‘Cause those glasses are giving you away.”
- “You’re kind of eating a lot.”
- “So, how long have you been single for?”
- “Look, I’m all for gender equality, as long as women know their place.”
- “It sounds like you don’t really have fun.”
- “My ex always used to say…”
- “So, do you go on a lot of dates?”
- “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”
- “I met my last girlfriend while I was hanging out in the undergraduate library trying to meet girls.”
- “I’m not looking for anything serious.”
- “Is your friend from your profile picture single?”
- “I don’t really know how to watch my tone.”
- “This wasn’t a good idea. I think I’m just going to go.”
- “Can I look through your diary?”
- “We should definitely travel together.”
- “Sorry I’m late, I just came from this cool art thing. You probably haven’t heard of it.”
- “I just had a burrito.”
- “I don’t like burritos.”
- “You’re not one of THOSE feminists are you?”
- “Not to sound sexiest or anything but…”
- “Have you ever thought of losing a few pounds?”
- “I’m about to go on a trip for the next six months.”
- “So, how do you think that went?”
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