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How to keep a healthy level of insanity

20 WaYs To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE

  1. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing their, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, “You’ve got to be faster than that.”
  2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  3. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
  4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
  5. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  6. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice)
  7. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same Outfits.
  8. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is Especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
  9. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing.
  10. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
  11. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  12. Insist that your e-mail address be xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com
  13. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  14. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
  15. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
  16. Don’t use any punctuation.
  17. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  18. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  19. Sing along at the opera.
  20. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.