Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Government Jobs
A guy stopped at a local gas station and, after filling his gas tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working at their government jobs along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three…
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Tempting Mother-In-Law
I was happy. After my girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She…
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Colonoscopy Exams
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopy exams: “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” “Find Amelia Earhart yet?” “Can you hear me NOW?” “Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!” “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there…
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Woman’s Daily Prayer
Funny woman’s daily prayer The facts of a woman’s daily life is summarized in her daily prayer. Not that all women are seen as gossips, prone to temper tantrums, greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. In addition to whining, complaining, cursing, eating chocolate or spending frivolously. It just seems that way.
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Tater People
The many forms of Tater People explained in detail. Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called “Speck Taters”. Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called…
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Investment Terms
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked damn auditor. EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering. CEO: chief embezzlement officer. CFO: corporate fraud officer. NAV: normal Andersen valuation. FRS: fantasy reporting standards. P/E: parole entitlement. EPS: eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET: A…