12 signs the secretary you hired was wrong choice
- The wrong secretary has a hard time alphabetizing a bag of M&M’s.
- She doesn’t get the hang of Post-it Notes.
- You have to frequently scrape White-Out off her computer screen.
- At the board meeting for which she is recording the minutes, she stops the proceedings to ask, “What did fatso say?”
- Your customers come around only during her lunch period; they peek around the door asking, “Is the coast clear?”
- When the wrong secretary gets low on typing paper she asks you what to do; you tell her to use copy paper. She then takes a blank piece of typing paper, puts it into the copy machine and makes 10 copies. (a dated reference, since copy paper is in the graveyard)
- She rolls her hosiery to just below the knee and keeps it there by tying it in a knot.
- The Ringling Brothers Clown College announces that she has won a prize for her original make-up.
- She tries to fax chocolate chip cookies to her daughter in college.
- She staples her thumbs together more frequently than once a week.
- Types 60 words per minute, but not in English.
- She wears White-Out for nail polish.
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