You Might Have Wrong Secretary

12 signs the secretary you hired was wrong choice

1. The wrong secretary has a hard time alphabetizing a bag of M&M’s.
2. She doesn’t get the hang of Post-it Notes.
3. You have to frequently scrape White-Out off her computer screen.
4. At the board meeting for which she is recording the minutes, she stops the proceedings to ask, “What did fatso say?”
5. Your customers come around only during her lunch period; they peek around the door asking, “Is the coast clear?”
6. When the wrong secretary gets low on typing paper she asks you what to do; you tell her to use copy paper. She then takes a blank piece of typing paper, puts it into the copy machine and makes 10 copies. (a dated reference, since copy paper is in the graveyard)
7. She rolls her hosiery to just below the knee and keeps it there by tying it in a knot.
8. The Ringling Brothers Clown College announces that she has won a prize for her original make-up.
9. She tries to fax chocolate chip cookies to her daughter in college.
10. She staples her thumbs together more frequently than once a week.
11. Types 60 words per minute, but not in English.
12. She wears White-Out for nail polish.