Tag: wife
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Mistaken Identity
After years of frustration, the Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”. Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer…
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Cheating Wife Caught In The Act
“So let me get this straight,” the prosecutor says to the defendant, “you came home from work early and found your cheating wife in bed with another man.” “That’s correct,” says the defendant. “Upon which,” continues the prosecutor, “you take out your gun and shoot your cheating wife, killing her instantly.” “That’s correct,” says the…
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Wife Pulls Plug On Husband
Last night I was sitting in the living room watching the news on television. After seeing a guy living on a life-support system, I said to her: “I would never want to live in such a vegetative state, depending on some machine with fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens to me, just pull…
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What Pest-Control Man Said When Caught Hiding In the Closet Will Make You Laugh
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!” She bundled him in the closet stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after…
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Truthful Comment About Beautiful Wife Gets Husband In Trouble
My husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and I was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, “You’re beautiful.” Flattered, I continued my vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, “You’re cute.” “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”…
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Lazy Guy Needs Doctor For Clever Excuse About His Condition
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just a…