real estate ad for house in bad shape

18 Real Estate Ad Descriptions You Can Use Like a Pro

Finally explanations of the hidden language of real estate ads, with real-life examples.

Memorize this list of terms used for homes and properties that need serious upgrades to make them livable.

  • Sophisticated city living means: Next to a noisy bar
  • Old World Charm means: Has some woodwork and needs cleaning
  • Contemporary Feeling means: Has no woodwork or furnishings
  • Close to lakes is the code for: Impossible to reach the street, except in summer
  • Picturesque setting means: Abandoned cars and waist-high weeds in neighboring lots
  • A wide-open floor plan means: the previous owner removed supporting walls
  • Updated kitchen means: The sink no longer overflows
  • Security system means: Neighbor has a mean dog
  • Needs TLC means: Major structural damage
  • Motivated seller means: Could not sell the home for 10 years
  • Convenient location means: Next to freeway entrance ramp
  • Mint condition means: Mouthwash spilled on the carpet
  • Neutral decor means: No mural of nudes or Elvis
  • Move-in condition means: Front door missing
  • Cozy means: Each room is the size of a closet
  • Lower-level family room means: Ping-pong table covers sewer opening
  • Light, open spaces mean: Holes in walls and missing insulation
  • Outstanding means: Sticks out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood

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