AHUMORSITE
-
Tater People
The many forms of Tater People explained in detail. Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called “Speck Taters”. Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called…
-
Investment Terms
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked damn auditor. EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering. CEO: chief embezzlement officer. CFO: corporate fraud officer. NAV: normal Andersen valuation. FRS: fantasy reporting standards. P/E: parole entitlement. EPS: eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET: A…
-
Surprising Facts of Life In 1902
The average life expectancy in the US was forty-seven. Only 14% of the homes in the US had a bathtub. Only 8% of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.…
-
Old Man Meets Satan
A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, running over each other each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited…
-
Good Bad Ugly
When Good events turn Bad, and then Ugly GOOD – Your hubby and you agree: no more kids. BAD – You can’t find your birth control pills. UGLY – Your 13 year-old daughter borrowed them. GOOD – Your husband understands fashion. BAD – He’s a cross dresser. UGLY – He looks better than you GOOD…
-
One Rose
A gentleman was lured into a busy florist shop by a large sign in the window that read, “Say It With Flowers.” “Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist. “Only one?” the florist asked. “Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.”