AHUMORSITE
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Sydney’s Last Wishes For Harriet
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Harriet, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. “Sidney thought of everything, she told them.” Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. “Harriet,” he told me. “I have put all my…
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What people do if they love Jesus
The wife of a Southern Baptist preacher talks to her Sunday school class about a wonderful religious experience that she had last week: The other day I went up to the local Christian book store where I saw a “Honk If You Love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I…
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Little Johnny At Church
One bright Sunday morning Cindy and Mark took their eight year old son, Johnny, to church. They sat right in the front so Johnny could get all the benefits from church. But as we know eight year old boys do not like church at all. Especially little Johnny. Halfway through the pastor’s sermon Johnny fell…
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58 facts for the curious mind
The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar an England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is…
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44 Things not to say on a first date
“Sorry I’m a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore.” “Show me how you used to spank her.” “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” “I just got my license today.” “I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature.” “Five…
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T-shirts for women making a statement
Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies. Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. I hate everybody, and you’re next. And your point is… I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to…