AHUMORSITE
-
Are you a cat or a dog?
What is a Cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They’re totally unpredictable. They whine when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They’re moody.…
-
Urgent Beer Warning
For some this BEER WARNING ADVISORY comes too late, while others we hope men read this advisory in time. Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called…
-
You are from the South if you believe this
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out…
-
Official Baby Boomer Quiz
QUESTION #1: Name the Beatles – both the first and last name of each, of course. Consider this a warm-up. [If you can’t answer this one without thinking, close up the test, and move on to something else. We have nothing further to discuss. QUESTION #2: Finish the line: “Lions and tigers and bears, _________!”…
-
20 funny quotes for the day
Have you ever noticed…. Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? –George Carlin You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the heck she is. –Ellen…
-
What happens when film producer loses his arm?
A film producer parks his brand new Porsche Carerra Cabriolet, and just as he swings the door open to get out, a truck speeds by and completely tears it off. The producer, ready to kill, grabs his cell phone, dials his assistant and tells her to dial 911 immediately. Soon a cop pulls up, but…