Proposed New Version Of The Lord’s Prayer

person reciting Lord's Prayer

Budweiser marketing executives held their annual planning session with their advertising agency.  The ad agency gave them a new and FABULOUS plan.

The ad agency account executive suggested that Budweiser offer the Pope $1 Mil per year if he will send out an edict changing the Lord’s Prayer line from “Give us this day our daily bread,” to “Give us this day our daily Bud.”

The Budweiser executives thought this was great idea and sent a representative off to the Vatican to make an offer.

The salesman just saw a bishop, who ordered him thrown out amid cries of “Sacrilege!”

He returned to the President of Budweiser, who told him to return to the Vatican, and to up the ante to $1 mil per month.

This time the Budweiser man gets in to see a Cardinal, informs him about the proposed change from “Give us this day our daily bread,” to “Give us this day our daily Bud.”

The Cardinal, enraged, also has him thrown him out, saying, “The Lord’s Prayer is NOT for sale, commercialistic scoundrel!”

Back to the Budweiser president he went.

This time the president said that he had certain connections and would make some calls in advance, guaranteeing that his representative would see the Pope himself: not just some flunkies.

Also, said the executive, offer the Pope $1,000,000 a week.

“This is so big we can’t miss it. It’ll blow Miller out of the water.”

Back in the Vatican the representative enters a room filled with the church hierarchy and begins to give his presentation when shouts of “out” begin. Then the Pope comes into the chamber.

He asks that the man be heard in a respectful manner, but first wants to leave for a moment.

He goes down the hallway to his business manager’s office, where he says, “Guido, get out the Lord’s Prayer file.”

“Sure, your Holiness, what do you need to know?”

“How long before the Pepperidge Farm deal expires”

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