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Coffee Addiction

coffee addict

You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When:

  • Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
  • You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You sleep with your eyes open.
  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table.
  • The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
  • You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.
  • Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
  • You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
  • Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
  • Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.