Category: One-Liners
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Bumper Stickers About Religion
The meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it. If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas! Jesus saves. He uses double coupons. Jesus loves you. But I’m his favorite. Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you’re a jerk. I found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all the time. Thank…
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Bumper Stickers About Politics
Frodo failed. Donald Trump has the ring. If you can read this, you’re not the president. The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake. Vote Democrat – it’s easier than working! Vote Republican – it’s easier than thinking! In America, anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks…
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Pick-Up Line Comebacks
M: I know how to please a woman. W: Then please leave me alone. M: I guess you’re pretty good at pleasing yourself then. M: I want to give myself to you. W: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. M: Oh, just cheap perfume then. M: Your hair color is fabulous. W: Thank you. It’s…
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Bar Pick-Up Lines
Looking at you makes my phone vibrate! If I could be anything, I’d be your body lotion! Your name must be Daisy because I’d like to plant you right here! Your father must be a butcher, because you have two FINE pieces of meat right there! I’m no glass of milk but I can still…
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Physician Talk
Funny explanations of what physician’s really mean when talking to a patient. “This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…” Since he hasn’t the foggiest…
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Avoid These Deadly Pick-Up Lines
Which pick-up lines not to use if you want get that beauty. Stupid pickup lines.