A collection of some of the best insults and comebacks throughout history.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy .”
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill.
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
-Winston Churchill, in response.
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
-Irvin S. Cobb.
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul Keating.
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.”