Category: Lists
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Post-College Life
Your potted plants stay alive. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. Your…
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Redneck Medical Terms
Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria Barium: What doctors do when patients die Benign: What you be after you be eight Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome Catscan: Searching for Kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Colic: A sheep dog Coma: A punctuation mark D&C: Where Washington is Dilate: To…
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Water Versus Coca-Cola
We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before. Water 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population) In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. Even mild dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much…
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Dating Guide
White Women First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position using your elbows. Greek Women First date: You get to kiss her mother and father goodnight on both cheeks while she watches.Second date: You get to kiss her…
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List of 50 Computer Pranks
Your friends might not find these computer pranks funny, but then you didn’t like your job anyway. Log on, wait a second, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt out of the room. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and…
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Do Not Eat Guidelines
A Guide To Food Spoilage For Guys Eggs: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime. Meat: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a 3 block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled. Flour: If it wiggles…it’s spoiled. Lettuce: Bibb…