Badtimes Computer Virus

badtimes virus

If you receive an email with the subject titled “badtimes”, DELETE it immediately.

Do not open it.

Apparently this email contains a virus that will do all these things to anybody who dares to click on it.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your DVD and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any DVD’s you want to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator’s coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone to auto-dial so it calls only your mother-in-law’s number.

The badtimes computer virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, at the same time dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel affairs to your credit card.

It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the “badtimes” message is opened in a Mac environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

It will replace all your luncheon meat with beef tongue.

It will rearrange the molecules in your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

It is insidious and subtle.

It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interesting shade of lime.

These are just a few signs of infection.


Then…lighten up and GET A LIFE!

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