Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Proposed Alcohol Warning Labels
Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers may have to accept the FDA’s suggestion that the following alcohol warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcoholic containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you…
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When You Are Drunk
Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk Indubitably Preliminary Proliferation Things that are very difficult to say when you’re drunk Specificity Antidisestablishmentarianism Loquacious Transubstantiate Things that are downright impossible to say when you’re drunk Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me. Sorry, but you’re not really…
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Finding The Ideal Wife
When I was a young teenager, 13-14, I started to notice girls and decided I wanted one of my own. Not having much success until I turned about 16, when I finally found a girl, but unfortunately, there was no passion. So, I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life and…
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Detergent Comment Letter
DEAR TIDE I’m writing to say what an excellent detergent you have. I’ve used it since the beginning of my marriage, when my mom told me Tide was the best detergent in the market. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My husband started to berate me…
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Cheap Manhattan Parking
A blonde walks into a Manhattan bank and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to her new Rolls…
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CIA Dog
A older gentleman sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The man goes to the backyard where he finds the dog just sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Sure do,” the dog replies. “So, what’s…