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Women Phrasebook For Men

A simple phrasebook for figuring out where a guy stands in his relationship with a girl.

Sometimes men do not understand what women really mean when they talk.

This women phrasebook explains the hidden truths behind what women say.

Keep this phrasebook handy for whenever she says something you may thinks makes no sense to you, but it’s perfectly logical to her.

women slip of tongueDo what you want.
You’ll pay for this later

It’s your decision.
The correct decision should be obvious by now

We need to talk.
I need to complain

Sure… go ahead.
I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset.
Of course I’m upset, you moron.

You’re … so manly.
You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight.
Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional! and I’m not overreacting!
I’m on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient.
I want a new house.

I want new curtains.
and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..

I need wedding shoes.
The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there.
NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise.
I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute.
Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
Too late, your dead.

Yes.
No

No.
No

Maybe.
No

I’m sorry.
You’ll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling!
Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we’re going to buy is a soap dish.
It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and oh my god there’s a sale in lingerie, and wouldn’t these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

In answer to “What’s wrong?”
The same old thing.
Nothing.

Nothing.
Everything.

Everything.
My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really.
It’s just that you’re such an asshole.

I don’t want to talk about it.
Go away, I’m still building up steam.