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Three Accountant Jokes

three accountants at desk

Accountants have their own way of thinking, which may seem odd to most of us sometimes.

Here are three examples of accountant logic, or illogic if you will, so you too can understand accountants.

If you agree with the answers the accountants provide, perhaps you are meant for an accounting career.

Example One

Two students of accounting were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The other student said, “I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.'”

The second accountant nodded approvingly, “Good choice – the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Example Two

An architect, an artist and an accountant were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The accountant said, “I like both.”

“Both?” they said.

The accountant calmly explained, “If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done.”

Example Three

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

So there you have it.

Do you have other examples of how to understand accountants?