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Top ten things not to say at a funeral

funeral casketWhat are the top 10 things you should not say at a funeral?

  1. What’s that smell?
  2. So who’s that sleeping in the box?
  3. I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit.
  4. I would have loaned him my good rope if I’d known what he was using it for!
  5. (to the widow) Now that you’re single, how about a date?
  6. It must suck to be dead.
  7. (crying) I guess this means I’m out of the buck he owes me! :~(
  8. When do we eat?
  9. Can I have his car?
  10. People sure look stupid dead.