Unwritten ways to thrive in college

students in class

Unwritten ways to thrive in college

Depends on how you define “thrive”

Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.

Enjoy being a sophomore: it will be the best three years of your life.

Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.

Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into a lucrative “home pharmaceuticals” business.

If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.

Boring lecture? Bring your headsets.

College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.

“I Phelta Thi” is not a real fraternity, except at state colleges.

Remember – almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.

Football games were never meant to be attended in a sober frame of mind.

Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor – think of it as “acing biology.”

In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.

Of course, your parents may not believe this is the right way to thrive in college, because a job will not await you if you follow this guideline.

That is, even if you finish college at all like Bill Gates or Richard Branson.

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