- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
- What’s another word for thesaurus?
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- I just got lost in thought – it was unfamiliar territory.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Quantum mechanics is the dream stuff is made of.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
- What was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?
- One nice thing about egotists, they don’t talk about other people.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- Wear short sleeves – support your right to bare arms!
- They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
- Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
- I had amnesia once – maybe twice.