Tag: relationships
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Best answer to a Dear John letter
A Marine stationed overseas recently received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to…
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Actual newspaper headline about felching session gone wrong
“In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a…
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Henny Youngman
23 one-line jokes by Henny Youngman I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. My horse’s jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says “Why are you hitting me, there is…
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Valentine’s Day Humor
Valentine’s Gift One morning after a sweet dream Sarah all of a sudden woke up. Her husband Brad asked her if anything was wrong. “I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, Brad came home…
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I Have Learned
I’ve learned That you cannot make someone love you: all you can do is stalk them until they panic and give in. I’ve learned That no matter how much I care, some people are just idiots. I’ve learned That you shouldn’t compare yourself to others: they are more screwed up than you think. I’ve learned…
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10 silly one-liners
Cartoon of man being denied traditional therapy but receiving bubble wrap instead.