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How wife tells bad news to her husband
Brad was in a horrific motorcycle accident and learned the bad news that his legs were almost totally crushed. After a few of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable outcome. Due however, to Brad’s frail condition, the physician was afraid to give him […]
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Professor tricks his autopsy students
An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. “There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.” Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it. “Now […]
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Patient Questions Prescription
A panicked patient called her doctor’s office concerning a refill for a prescription. “Is it true,” the woman wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed for me has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor answered. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, […]
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Redneck Medical Terms
Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria Barium: What doctors do when patients die Benign: What you be after you be eight Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome Catscan: Searching for Kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Colic: A sheep dog Coma: A punctuation mark D&C: Where Washington is Dilate: To […]
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Shingles For Physician
Bubba walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So she wrote down […]
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Expensive Veterinarian Bill
A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary hospital. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, Polly has passed away.” The distressed owner wailed, […]