Tag: drinking
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When You Are Drunk
Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk Indubitably Preliminary Proliferation Things that are very difficult to say when you’re drunk Specificity Antidisestablishmentarianism Loquacious Transubstantiate Things that are downright impossible to say when you’re drunk Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me. Sorry, but you’re not really…
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Drunken Irishman
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and his car is weaving all over the road. A police officer finally spots the car and pulls him over. “So,” says the cop to the driver, “where might you have you been?” “Why, I’ve been to…
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Coffee Addiction
You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When: Juan Valdez names his donkey after you. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. You lick your coffeepot clean. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.…
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Drinking Buddy
Bud had a drinking buddy, Jim were a couple of who both worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!” Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can…