Tag: advice
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32 auto insurance claims guaranteed to fail
A guide on what not to write on your auto insurance claim forms. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought. I pulled into a rest stop with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with…
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Story of the Bull and the Turkey
A turkey was complaining to the bull:” I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung…
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Ten Rules of Bureaucracy
Preserve thyself. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem. A penny saved is an oversight. Information deteriorates upward. The first 90% of the task takes 10% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%. Experience is what you get just after you need it. For any given large,…
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Pregnancy Questions Answered
Answers To 10 Common Pregnancy Questions Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? A:Childbirth. Q: My…
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Physical Exercise Alternatives
Physical exercise is good for you. I know that I should do it daily, but my body doesn’t want me to do too much, so I have worked out this program of 25 strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. You are invited to use my program without charge. Beating around the bush Jumping…
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Evils of Marjuana
A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors. “Used regularly,” he explained, “Pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student.…