Sarcastic Work Quotes

20 Things You’d Love To Say At Work But Can’t

These brilliant work quotes may find you searching for another job.

1. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
2. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
3. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
4. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
5. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
11. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
12. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
13. Do I look like a people person?
14. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
15. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
16. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
17. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
18. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
19. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
20. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.