A Polish guy married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him – “very quick.”

The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?

Pole: Ja, Ja, an acre and half.

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?

Pole: No, I always up before her.

Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?

Pole: No, she white.

Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?

Pole: She going to kill me.

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Pole: I got proof.

Lawyer: What kind of proof?

Pole: She bought a bottle at the drug store, and put it on the shelf in bathroom. I can read – it said “Polish Remover.”