AHUMORSITE
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Mistaken Jesus Sighting
A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sun roof during an incident best described as “a mistaken rapture” by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture…
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Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following: The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry…
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Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you.…
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Silly Beach Rules
No way to have a good time at the beach NO DOGS NO BICYCLES NO SWIMMING
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Farmer Feels Frisky
Young farmer Jones made an appointment with the family doctor regarding sexual problems he was having with his wife. “Now listen, Matt,” the doctor advised, “you have to be more loving to your wife. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Show her how much you care.” “Well, I’ll do the best I can,” he…
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Redneck Medical Terms
Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria Barium: What doctors do when patients die Benign: What you be after you be eight Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome Catscan: Searching for Kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Colic: A sheep dog Coma: A punctuation mark D&C: Where Washington is Dilate: To…