28 Random Thoughts

28 random thoughts

  1. Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  2. If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  3. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  4. Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
  5. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
  6. Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
  7. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
  8. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
  9. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?
  10. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
  11. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  13. Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
  14. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  15. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  16. How is it possible to have a civil war?
  17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  19. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  20. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
  21. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
  22. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  23. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  24. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
  25. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
  26. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
  27. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  28. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?

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