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Man Compared To Dog

A Man’s Best Friend

A dog does not talk the talk, but walks the walk.

Here is a list of reasons that a dog is a man’s best friend, because dogs do not lie or cheat, but are up-front buddies.

  • Dogs always think you’re smart and don’t make fun of your shortcomings
  • happy man with a loyal dogDogs are willing to sleep on a rug and fetch on command
  • Dogs spend less time worrying about hair loss
  • Old buddies don’t show up on doorstep unexpectedly
  • Dogs are utterly disinterested in professional sports
  • Your parents find them easier to like
  • Dogs are rarely jealous of your former boyfriends
  • Dogs are willing to hold your purse in public
  • Unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following intense play Dogs don’t complain when you want to go for a walk
  • Dogs are willing to eat anything you put on their plate and will always want more
  • Dogs tend to bath themselves daily, men must be encouraged to do so
  • You can put a dog in a crate when you don’t feel like having it around
  • Dogs expect to go outside on leashes… men think they can do everything on their own
  • Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
  • Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
  • You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
  • Dogs feel guilt when they’ve done something wrong.
  • Dogs don’t brag about whom they have slept with.
  • Dogs don’t criticize your friends.
  • Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
  • Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
  • Dogs do not play games with you — except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
  • Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you’re together.
  • Dogs don’t feel threatened by your intelligence.
  • You can train a dog.
  • You are never suspicious of your dog’s dreams.
  • Gorgeous dogs don’t know they’re gorgeous.
  • The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
  • Dogs understand what NO means.
  • Dogs don’t need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
  • Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
  • Dogs do not read at the table.
  • You can force a dog to take a bath.
  • Dogs don’t correct your stories.
  • Middle-aged dogs don’t feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  • Dogs aren’t threatened by a woman with short hair.
  • Dogs aren’t threatened by two women with short hair.
  • Dogs admit it when they’re lost.
  • Dogs look at your eyes. Dogs like your size. Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
  • Dogs take care of their own needs. Dogs are color blind.
  • Dogs aren’t threatened if you earn more than they do.
  • Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
  • Dogs are nice to your relatives.
  • Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
  • Dogs don’t care how you dress.