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Idiot Sightings

Ten Real-World Idiot Examples

Idiot Sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”

I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”

He smiled and nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”

Idiot Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.

She responded, appalled, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”

Idiot Sighting #3:

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to “rightsizing,” our manager spoke up and said, “This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often.”

Not another word was spoken.

We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4

I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5

(a rare “double sighting”): A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space.

He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they’d take up less room.

When he told me, I was with another friend.

She thought it was a good idea too.

Idiot Sighting #6

Tech Support: “How much free space do you have on your hard drive?”

Individual: “Well, my wife likes to get up there on that internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?”

Idiot Sighting #7

Sign for Idiot on BoardIndividual: “Now what do I do?”

Tech Support: “What is the prompt on the screen?”

Individual: “It’s asking for ‘Enter Your Last Name.'”

Tech Support: “Okay, so type in your last name.”

Individual: “How do you spell that?”

Idiot Sighting #8

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.

As I watched from the passenger’s side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.

“Hey,” I announced to the technician, “It’s open!”

“I know,” answered the young man. “I already got that side.”

Idiot Sighting #9

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.

She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.

So I signed the credit card in front of her.

She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.

As luck would have it, they matched.

Idiot Sighting #10

I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the deer crossing sign on our road.

The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore.